“Just get over yourself.”
I took a bite of my Greek bowl. Lentils and mixed greens. Crisp cucumbers, bright red sundried tomatoes, and chickpeas. Tasty hummus and pita on the side. Red onions and olives.
And that yummy white tzatziki sauce.
Swallowing my favorite lunch I processed her words.
I’m just getting to know you and you’re talking to me like this?
I’d begun visiting a church and expressed my heart for prayer with a new friend. Also shared my fear.
A few days before I’d told the pastor and his wife I wanted to be on the prayer team but didn’t feel comfortable praying with men.
Now I’ve been married an entire year to the man I became prayer partners with.
Men and women with a zeal to pray have been showing up.
My heart is full knowing God has answered my prayers for others to join our team.
But something happened.
I began comparing myself to others and slid into a dark hole of inadequacy and self-focus.
I’ve been intensely challenged as I listen to these individuals that seek God and are full of His word, blown away by the Holy Spirit flowing through them with fervor on other’s behalf.
Then intimidation crept back in.
This morning I stopped by the church to help prepare bulletins. I spoke with a young woman who came in to clean. God let me have a glimpse into her heart. I see her every Sunday morning, but haven’t experienced anything further than the typical ‘how are you’. She shared a prayer need and I told her I’d pray.
I started toward the parking lot. A still small voice whispered ‘Pray now.’
I went back to her, held her hands and called upon the Father.
Before I left, I prayed for my pastor’s wife.
I sat in my truck for a few minutes.
Just be you.
If I am concerned about the words coming out of my mouth, grappling for things that sound spiritual or eloquent – my prayers won’t get past the ceiling.
The Lord reminded me to just pray. Keep talking to Him. Be myself and rely on Him.
You love to pray.
Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.
Get over yourself.
Why do we so easily compare ourselves to others?
I’m talking to myself here.
Do what you love.
I love to write.
I love to pray for others. There’s no special formula, you just do it.
Talk to God. Communicate. Open your bible. Spend time with Him.
How cool it is that He listens.
He knows the secrets of our hearts.
And He is a personal, intimate God.
All. The. Time.